I wrote this article in the spirit of encouraging others who want to continue to breastfeed their child beyond the first year but feel pressured to wean or embarrassed to let others know they are still breastfeeding their child.  You see...I started my breastfeeding journey oblivious to the challenges I would experience along the way.  In the beginning, it was a daily struggle to stick to my decision to breastfeed as I was exhausted and overwhelmed as a first time mom. Fortunately, I was surrounded by others who encouraged me to keep going.  I had a supportive husband and family, a great group of moms I relied on, and a fabulous health care team I knew I could call at any time. Eventually my initial goal of hitting 3 months was extended to 6 months and by the time I got to 6 months I was feeling pretty confident I could make it to one year. As each day passed, I believed that things would continue to get easier on my breastfeeding journey.

I never thought a time would come when I would feel my support waiver.  But as I transitioned from breastfeeding a baby to breastfeeding a toddler, I did feel a shift in my level of support. At first, it was like a faint ticking of a clock as friends and family would innocently ask: “So when are you going to give it up?”  As time went on it became clear to me that I passed the socially accepted deadline to wean my child as people started staring at my daughter as she breastfed in public. I realized that people felt uncomfortable watching my child breastfeed as she sat in my lap and played with my hair.  This realization not only made me feel embarrassed, but guilty that I was doing something wrong.  By 15 months, the pressure to stop breastfeeding was so great that I set my New Year’s Resolution to wean my daughter in an effort to satisfy some expectation that we should have been more independent at that point.  But deep down inside I knew my child needed me and I deeply missed holding her close at night with her head pressed against my chest…. my heart beating softly in her ear while she breastfed. This was my way of telling her "mom is here" and her way of showing me that she trusted me.

With my second daughter, I set the bar at 15 months and thought my breastfeeding journey would end the same way as my first.  However, as I approached the anticipated wean date, my will to continue on grew stronger not weaker.  I guess I was upset with feeling forced to give up something that we were not ready to give up.  I knew however that if we were going to continue this journey, that I had to be prepared to fight off the pressures I would face.  I don’t know how I came across the WHO recommendations.  Maybe it was on a poster somewhere or maybe I heard it on TV.  But when I learned the World Health Organization recommended breastfeeding up to 2 years of age and beyond, that was all the ammunition I needed to fight off the judgement, criticism, and guilt I felt.  It was such a relief to have an answer to the question: “Why are you still breastfeeding your child?” I could demonstrate that my decision to continue on was not based on a selfish need but that it supported the growth and development of my child.  I felt so empowered knowing the World Health Organization supported what I was doing, that I raised the bar from 15 months of breastfeeding to 2 years.  Although I still felt the pressure to wean my second daughter, I knew that it was alright to wait until the timing worked for both of us and after 26 months we were able to wean successfully despite warnings that she would be clingy and spoiled.

Throughout my breastfeeding journey with my two daughters, I have discovered so much about parenting.  There is so much pressure out there as we try our best to raise our children in today’s world.  I never realized we could make ourselves feel guilty over so many things. But through it all, I learned to have confidence in myself.  I didn't write this article to tell anyone they should set the breastfeeding bar to 2 years of age.  I wrote it to share an experience of a mother who struggled with feelings of judgement in her decision to continue breastfeeding into the toddler years. Whether the judgement is real or perceived, sometimes all you need is some affirmation in what you are doing to give you enough strength to keep you from throwing in the towel.

  

 

“Exclusive breastfeeding is recommended up to 6 months of age, with continued breastfeeding along with appropriate complementary foods up to two years of age or beyond”

                                  World Health Organization